Become hotter
Dating apps said to optimize your profile. We identified a more direct intervention: stop eating, lose weight, acquire cheekbones.
Dating apps hate this one civic intervention
Stop eating.
Start caring.
Find love.
The radically offline dating strategy where you lose weight through a hunger strike, attach it to a worthy cause, and wait for an extremely hot librarian with strong local-policy opinions to notice.
EAT LESSCARE
MOREHS4H · DC CHAPTER
civic duty!maybe a date?MOREHS4H · DC CHAPTER
DELETE THE APPS ✦ PICK A CAUSE ✦ BECOME HOTTER ✦ FIND YOUR HOTTIE ✦ DELETE THE APPS ✦ PICK A CAUSE ✦ BECOME HOTTER ✦ FIND YOUR HOTTIE ✦
A message for America's single indoor population
HAS THIS EVER
HAPPENED TO YOU?!
You sit down to check one dating app. Forty-seven minutes later, you have rejected a lobbyist named Brent, been rejected by a museum educator named Claire, and learned absolutely nothing about the municipal election happening twelve feet outside your window.
You're swiping left. You're swiping right. You're swiping so hard your thumb has abs—but you don't. The gym is closing. Democracy is weakening. Your profile still says you're “fluent in sarcasm.”
THE ALGORITHM IS GETTING STRONGER.
YOU ARE GETTING HUNGRIER ANYWAY.
YOU ARE GETTING HUNGRIER ANYWAY.
BBRENT, 31“Work hard, brunch harder”
?STILL LOADINGFinding people who also like travel
NOPE
MAYBE?
BUT IMAGINE IF...
The thing that got you off the apps also made you hotter, principled, and visible to hot librarians?
BEFORE12,408
swipeszero zoning-board meet-cutes
swipeszero zoning-board meet-cutes
→
AFTER1 good
protest signunlimited civic possibility
protest signunlimited civic possibility
The dating-market correction
What if getting hotter also made you worth meeting?
You could spend another year adjusting prompts and pretending to enjoy climbing. Or you could lose weight, become publicly devoted to a cause, and place yourself directly in front of the kind of attractive, civically engaged person you hoped the algorithm would eventually locate.
Stand for something
A hunger strike without a cause is just alarming. Add a principled demand and suddenly you possess depth, conviction, and a sign.
Find your hottie
Stage it where engaged people gather. The librarian, organizer, policy wonk, or union baddie who notices already shares your values.
Choose your commitment level
A proven path to
increasing civic rizz.
Begin with one missed meal. Escalate toward a real hunger strike at the seat of power. The more extreme the commitment, the sharper the silhouette and the more likely a hot archivist asks whether your sign is screen-printed.
The Soft Launch
Skip a meal. Mention the cause. Allow the cheekbones and political consciousness to begin developing privately.
Projected civic rizzProfile improving
The Public Debut
Add a lawful public vigil, a folding chair, and a sign legible from the nearest independent bookstore.
Projected civic rizzLibrarian range
The Full Hunger Strike
Delete the apps. Commit to an organized hunger strike at the institution of your cause. Become impossible for civic hotties to scroll past.
Projected civic rizzSoulmate territory
“Hinge gave me three years of ‘still figuring it out.’ The hunger strike gave me a hot public librarian named Nora in four afternoons.”
— Participant 006, now allegedly exclusive
The extremely official pledge
Delete the app.
Pick the cause.
Begin the strike.
No swiping. No premium tier. Just you, a legitimate political demand, and a carefully selected public location frequented by your preferred genre of hottie.
I solemnly swear to stop outsourcing my love life to an algorithm and instead become visibly hotter and more principled in public.
Democracy is hungry